Children Advice

Training the Fussy Eater

Children of all ages but toddlers in particular can be fussy eaters that refuse to try a new food at least half of the time. A lot of toddlers are fussy with their food so it is no wonder that food issues are a source of stress for parents. 

Establishing healthy eating patterns is important to avoid problems such as obesity and eating disorders later on in life. There are various parenting strategies to help your child accept a wider range of foods and unfortunately it may be necessary to offer a food to your child as many as 10 different times before they finally choose to eat it.  The problem is, many parents get frustrated and give up before the fourth or fifth try.  It is well worth persevering instead of giving up and letting them live off of fish fingers; a balanced diet and healthy food not only gives your children energy, it improves their concentration, learning and behaviour as well as reducing risk of infection and disease.

Try to make foods fun.  Colourful foods like carrot sticks, raisins, apples, grapes, cheese sticks and crackers can all be fun and healthy choices for your

growing toddler.  Explain to them that eating good food is important so they will grow big and strong, and how it will help them run faster and play longer.

Children learn behaviours from their parents and part of good parenting is to lead by example. If you restrict yourself to a narrow range of foods, your child will take notice and mimic what you do. Do not limit your child's food variety to only those foods you prefer. It may be that your child's tastes are different to yours, and perhaps you are simply serving them foods they do not happen to like.  Try to set a good example and try a variety of foods in front of your child.  It could motivate them to do the same.

If your child seems healthy and energetic, then they are eating enough. If you are concerned about their health, keep an eye on how much food they actually eat over the day. Children tend to graze constantly, rather than restrict their eating to three meals per day like adults. You may be surprised how those little handfuls and snacks add up. For further reassurance, check your child's growth and weight charts, or ask your child's pediatrician for some advise on healthy weights in children.

Try not to worry, and remember, that unless a child is ill, they will eat.   Children are very good at judging their hunger and fullness signals. Try to stay relaxed about mealtimes and offer your child a wide variety of foods.  Most importantly, remember to set a good example by trying a wide variety of foods yourself.  You may discover you and your toddler share a new found favourite food!

Overcoming Temper Tantrums Successfully

Handling Tantrums the Mature Way

Tantrums are an inevitable part of growing up process in kids and therefore a predictable part of parenting. It is their way of showing the frustration and anger they feel when they cannot do what they want to or need to do. You have to deal with these episodes effectively so that they are resolved in a proper and safe manner. The main objective in overcoming tantrums is helping the child understand anger and adapt to it.  There are plenty of people happy to give parenting advice on handling temper tantrums but when you are in the situation it is very different.

Tiding over the Tantrums

When you are faced a child having a tantrum, you have to remember to keep calm. You need to

• Avoid punishing the child
• Avoid rewarding them
• Try to stay calm and collected
• Protect the child from possible injury
• Isolate them
• Ignore the censure of the people around and stay clear minded.

Dealing with Tantrums at Home

In case of a tantrum in the home, you have to isolate the child and keep them in a safe area.  Close off the area and return to the area only when the child calms down.  If you consider it unsafe to leave the child alone, stay with them, but do not talk or look at them.  Once the child calms down, you can talk with them about the way they had behaved.

Tantrums in Public

Public tantrums are the most embarrassing and so handling tantrums in public is definitely the hardest part of difficult parenting. You need to carry the child out of the area to some private place. You can take them to the car and buckle them to the car seat and wait till it subsides. In situations like in a train or a plane, you have to manage it then and there. Ignoring the tantrum and keeping calm is the best thing you can do in such circumstances, but when the child goes to the extreme of it, you certainly need to gear up for some immediate actions.

Dealing with Episodes

Tantrums are hard to deal with, but when they occur, you need to know how to control the situation and not let it go out of hand.

• Try having a relaxing time daily like going to the park, playing in the garden or reading a story.
• Avoid saying ‘no’ straightway. This will trigger a more intense outburst; instead use words like later or after to tone down your refusal.
• Convey to the child that you understand their anger or frustration. This will make the child realise that you respect their feelings and they will learn gradually to express their anger in words, instead of resorting to tantrums.
• New change in their daily routine like potty training or going to a nursery may be the triggering factor. Ascertain this before you start dealing with it.
• Punishment or shouting will never lessen the intensity, but can make it worse.

Preventing Tantrums

There are ways in which you can avoid the tantrum from happening. Here are some tips:

1. Keep dangerous and breakable things out of reach and make your home toddler-proof.
2. Always keep an eye on the behavior of the kid, so that you can act in time to defuse the situation before it worsens.
3. Establish clear routines like regular bath time, lunch, dinner and bedtimes.
4. Children need to be involved in lots of activities to exhaust their high energetic levels. Keep them active by playing with them inside the house or the playground.

You need to give them options regarding how they should spend their time, so that they do not rebel. Tantrums usually subside once the child grows up and knows how to communicate and understand better.

How to Instil Discipline in Children Successfully

Parenting is a difficult role to play, especially when it comes to disciplining children. I believe that self-discipline starts at home. Only when parents teach children proper discipline, will they grow to become disciplined people in their adult life. Further self-discipline helps the children to make adjustments, view life more openly and most importantly in my point of view, makes them feel safe and cherished.

Discipline depends on the age of the child. The temperament and level of development also play an important role. The main objective of disciplining children is to safeguard and enable them to gain self-control. I think children also learn to be more responsible if properly disciplined.

One thing parents should keep in mind is that the children should respect their authority and heed their advice. Harsh or unjust disciplining, accompanied particularly by shouting or humiliation will make the child lose esteem and trust in the parent. 

To divert children from behaving badly, you can give them choices.  This freedom to make his own choice will certainly be appreciated by the child. However, I think that in addition to giving choices, you need to lay down certain rules that uphold the child physically and mentally. Try a calm and supportive approach to a child who is irritable or tired. In my opinion, bad behaviour often stems from the present environment of the child.

Disciplining a child should always be consistent. If parents keep changing their attitude, their children will cease to take note of their advice. Moreover, this may in fact encourage them to misbehave and make them more frustrated and confused.  Consistency is a major part of good parenting.

Another thing that I stress about disciplining children is being fair. The way a parent deals with a child should be neither too lax nor severe. The punishment given should be seen by the child as the direct consequence of his or her actions.

One way to instil confidence and positive behaviour in children is by spending valuable time with them. You can try hugging, gentle pats or cuddles, and make sure you appreciate the child’s good behaviour every time. If your child is angry or depressed, you need to find out the reason and understand them. In my opinion, the best way to teach a child good behaviour is for the parent to behave in the same manner.

Using a Positive and Supportive Approach in Potty Training

When your child is ready to potty train, you should take every necessary step to make it part of their everyday life. You have to make your toddler understand that it is a normal routine that everyone does even animals.

Methods You can Use

I have found that explaining that the toilet is a place that is meant for going potty just in an educative manner is highly effective. You can explain how the potty works and let him or her use the flush.  I think that now is the right time to make them realise that they will no longer be wearing diapers. Using DVDs that have their favourite characters undergoing potty training is also another good way to help them grasp the facts easily, such as Elmo's Potty Time.

In my opinion, getting other members of the family to become actively involved in the potty training process will yield better results. Stressing the significance of consistency is also important.

Appropriate Attire

When you begin the potty training, special consideration to the clothing should be given. I have often observed that toddlers like to make their own choice when it comes to buying their underwear. This way they will more readily wear them without complaint.  You have to first decide what kind of clothing is best for potty training. It can be pull-ups, regular underwear or training pants but whatever you choose, you have to be consistent.   Many brands offer pull-ups and training pants with cartoon characters and pictures on which might appeal to your child.  Huggies in the past have used Disney characters such as Cars and Toy Story but even some supermarket brand pull-ups have pictures on like animals.

Although I do not think rewards or treats have much influence with potty training, if you want to use them, you can go ahead but with caution.   Instead of actual treats, some people use potty training charts with their child's favourite characters on, and there are many free potty training charts that you can print up from the Internet including Dora the Explorer and Thomas the Tank Engine.

You need to devise a plan on how to deal with the potty issues when you go on long trips.  What you need to avoid is using tight and restrictive clothing or clothes that have snaps, plenty of buttons or zips that are difficult to handle by the child. These clothes should be avoided at all costs.

Whenever a child uses the potty by themselves, you need to praise his or her efforts but give ample support if they do not do it properly. As I mentioned before, treats as supportive measures are not advisable. The toddler has to understand that it will take some time for them to get used to the process. Encouraging them in each positive step they take will make them try it more devotedly and this will help to get them trained in a shorter period of time.